I think I decided in my heart of hearts to resign months ago, but it's official, I've signed a second contract with my school!! :) The decision comes with a lot of different emotions, excitement to live abroad for another year, and explore and delve into Korean culture even more than I have this year. There's so much to learn in and about this country and its' people, one year can't do it justice. The decision to stay relieves some anxiety, without the official decision to stay, I felt in limbo - what am I going to do after this? I was left with thoughts about going back to America...the stresses of having to look for a job in a crappy job market, buying a car, thinking of a place to settle down, looking for a new place to live - eeek all those symbols of permanence are enough to steer me away from going back to America for a while.
On the other hand, another year here means being away from family and friends. It means being away from my Dad, who is the most amazing father I could have ever asked for, another year in Korea, means being away from my mom (who this year Finally reached her longest mark of sobriety in the last 15 years - so incredibly proud of her), it means being away from my brother who's in the Air Force, and missing all those oh-so important beret and accomplishment ceremonies, my grandmothers, my aunts and uncles, and my friends :) my wonderfully, supportive friends like Kayla, Jackie, Kathryn, Parisa, and so many others. Being here the first year I've missed out on important things, and continue to. Jackie's wedding is on July 17th, and I won't be there for that. :(
What I've come to realize, is that events come and go. And thought it's sad to miss important milestones in friends and family members lives, just because I'm not in the crowd witnessing a graduation ceremony, or a wedding ceremony, or a friend can't tell me in person that they're pregnant, it doesn't mean that I care any less. I've learned so much about myself this year, and about relationships, and about taking chances, and I know that the friendships I've maintained since I've been here are forever friendships, those that aren't threatened by distance. Of course I miss my family and friends daily, but I have so much more to share with them, and feel so much closer to them, because I'm out living an incredible life, and I couldn't have done this without all of their support! :) I'm so thankful for this 1st year, and can't wait to see what's in store for me year 2!
Thanks for reading! I'm Incredibly Blessed!
Love Always, Em :)